Setting off alone was not my intention when I started living in my van, Barbara the Beige. But through a series of fortunate and unfortunate events, there I was… an older van with mechanical problems and me. In some ways, the older van worked out in my favor. Fewer computers meant that, in theory, I could do the repairs! This was the start of many lessons from the road.
the first indication of a problem
My first series of lessons in Solo Female Van Life came in hot with tears and fear. It was 1:30am and I was on the narrowest shoulder I’ve ever seen on a backroad. For the 18th time that night, my engine just shut off. I started on i5, but when my engine kept shutting off and I’d lose power steering. It just wasn’t safe for me to be on the highway. I had to get south! I had an appointment with my sister’s mechanic, Scott, my potential savior after months of struggle.
Initially, my engine would randomly rev or completely turn off. I started to know when to expect it and what could possibly bring it on, like stop-and-go traffic, which meant my engine would shut off constantly. I learned to drive in neutral, restarting it if I didn’t accelerate in neutral just right.
Washington didn’t disappoint. The sky was falling in a classic PNW torrential downpour. Internally, it felt like my world was crumbling. I had spent years saving, researching, and building my cozy little dream van. I was once again climbing under the van, in the middle of a dark night on a backcountry road, covered in mud, hoping that my dim flashers were enough to keep me safe. On the phone with a previous mechanic trying to troubleshoot anything. His descriptions sounded more like the Charlie Brown parents. Exhausted wouldn’t even begin to cover it. This 3 hour drive has turned into 11, and I’m still an “hour” away.
Nothing could have prepared me for this lesson
This was the foreshadowing I wasn’t ready to accept. The following 2 months were filled with van breakdowns and personal breakdowns. Crying on the side of the highway became my full-time job. While driving in rush hour traffic in Seattle, my belt flew off – I lost all steering. Leaving a family trip, my whole drive shaft snapped. I was towed 4 times in just 2 months. At one point, I lived in my van at my mechanic’s house for 3 weeks. I am decently mechanically inclined, drove motorcoaches professionally, grew up racing quads, and helped my dad rebuild old rigs.
These two months tested me in every way. At this point, to say I am in tune with my van would be an understatement. My mechanic and I learned so much about my particular van during this time. This throuple is forever bonded through this hardship. We were so motivated. I was partially motivated by the fear of losing my beloved home, my mechanic’s protective desire to ensure I’m safe, Barb and my desire for wide-open roads.
Growth through adversity, a college entrance essay
We fixed, rebuilt and learned so much about auto design in the 80s… like those guys were wild. Just a mess of trying to figure things out and making poor mechanical choices.
Coming out of this experience was obviously such a relief. But beyond that, it was INCREDIBLY EMPOWERING!
I learned to repair many components of my van, and my mechanical skills skyrocketed. I know that I will be able to repair most things in my van. If I don’t know how to fix something right now, I have the resources and ability to figure it out.
I learned to trust my instincts and my connection to my van. Thank you, Scott, for this one. Whenever I talk to my mechanic, he reinforces that I know more than I think. Now, I am tuned in to Barb and can read the mechanics better than the average driver. My detailed knowledge of my van’s mechanics and her preferences allow us to troubleshoot quickly.
Lessons on empowerment
These 2 months, 4 tows, and countless breakdowns from Barb and I on the side of the highway were tough. Like super, super tough. But I don’t think I would change a thing. I learned a ton about mechanics, 80s Ford electrical systems and the nuance of my badass babe, Barb.
I love the empowered feeling of driving down a dirt road with limited service, knowing that if something were to happen, I have the skills to overcome it.
My biggest lesson from our breakdown era is that I am far more capable than I realized. Owning this and stepping into that empowered feeling has been invaluable and is the thread that flows through the rest of this series of lessons from the road.
